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Learning from Mistakes
If you're a first-generation Asian American, you probably know the sheer terror of bringing home a school assignment with ... AN A MINUS!!!
You most likely had parents like mine, people who demanded "perfection" and ruthlessly punished you for any "mistakes." Although I appreciate what my parents have done for me my whole life, on this point they were completely wrong - and so is society for that matter. "Tiger parents" - and, unfortunately, many teachers - don't realize mistakes are not something to be avoided, they're necessary for success. It's a crucial step you cannot skip. Don't get me wrong, movies where the character is invincible can be kinda fun, but there's not much to root for - who can relate to a character that has no flaws? A cardinal rule of storytelling is that the hero must have some type of flaw to make them relatable. This is why I always preferred Batman to Superman. So today, let's dig in and find out what mistakes really are all about and how to use them for your benefit. Why We Don't Learn From Mistakes
What do you think of mistakes? The answer most likely has to do with how you were raised. How you were conditioned.
For example, how a teacher views mistakes will be how their student views mistakes. For this reason, you might simply be parroting the opinions and views of everyone else. And we don't question or challenge these beliefs because we humans are tribal by nature - most of the time, we want to do our best to fit in. So we'll believe what the "group" believes because isolation is too painful. But don't blame yourself for this, most of this conditioning happens before we even hit puberty. Since we're so highly impressionable at that age, things we're taught can have an almost permanent effect on the rest of our life. But the good news is that there's a way out. Let's take a look at different ways conditioning happens, as well as how to break free of this unwanted programming. Pitch Perfect
Our modern world has taken the idea of "perfectionism" past any healthy point. Ironically, it's been made worse because the quality of workmanship has gone up.
The first time you see any product, you're presented with a perfected, finished version. But behind the curtain, there are hundreds of iterations and thousands of hours of tinkering that you'll never see. There's a similar problem in that most professionals make everything look easy. Because it looks easy for them, people don't understand the hard work it took to make it look that way. You don't see the countless hours of practice and rehearsals that go into maybe 60 minutes worth of music. This type of preparation makes an artist a craftsman more than a perfectionist. Perfection is a trap, an illusion. It's like avoiding mistakes. Not making mistakes is like wanting to have everything handed to you. The problem with this is that you need to "earn" success. Let's take money, for example. You've definitely heard of story after story of rich kids who end up living miserable lives or becoming despicable persons. And it's because the money gets handed to them without them having to lift a single finger. There's no skin in the game for them. Personally, I've always been suspicious of "perfect" people. I've never found them likeable or even authentic. Do you trust a battle general with no scars? And most pianists aren't "perfectionists" anyways, at least the normal ones (if there's such a thing). A famous pianist once said they couldn't truly let go and perform to their potential until they made their first mistake in a live concert. When it comes to piano performance, perfection creates a dull experience. You have a well-polished, accurate presentation devoid of any soul. We can look to public speaking as another example. For instance, I've seen speeches that are so focused on perfect pronunciation, tonality and delivery that it all comes out a little too ... rehearsed. Isn't it ironic? I much prefer a talk with more "uhms" and "ahs." In fact, I've even heard of polished public speakers inserting these guffaws on purpose to make themselves sound more authentic! Perfect is boring. Imperfection is powerful. Survey Says ...
Nowhere is this "perfection" more rampant than the sports we watch. A team can lose while doing all the right things.
And the "winners" are sometimes unduly praised even if they were just lucky. People hate this idea of luck, there always has to be some sort of explanation. Annie Duke, a former world-champion poker player turned author, calls this "resulting." The following is an example from her book, "Thinking in Bets." If you're a football fan, you definitely remember the "disastrous" play call that cost the Seattle Seahawks a big, shiny Super Bowl ring against the New England Patriots. But Duke says it was the right call. Like, do you really think a seasoned NFL football coach doesn't know what he's doing? In a Super Bowl game? She argues that Seattle head coach Pete Carroll called the correct play with the highest statistical chance of winning. 9 out of 10 times, that same play would work - and everyone would be talking about his craftiness or genius. Carroll did the right things and was only punished because he lost. Resulting is like trying to rob a bank to make money. Morals aside, it can be considered a smart approach, and if successful you end up with a lot of shekels in the shortest amount of time possible. But this is an example of having the wrong process and getting good results. It's dangerous because you can be building a house of cards until one day it comes crashing down. And this is also why success is a double-edged sword. The higher up the ladder people climb, the more "yes" men they are susceptible to. They start drinking their own Kool-Aid and forget what got them there: Listening to critical feedback. In any case, the means with which you achieve your goals matters. In other words, results-thinking takes you away from the (correct) process. So if you've ever done the right thing, and had a bad result, I know where you're coming! I Think, Therefore I ...
Since the beginning of time, people have been concerned with image and status.
At an individual level, we're concerned with identity. Just as a person identifies with being perfect, we can also identify with failure. And it's more insidious than that. We don't just experience failure, it's like we become failure. If you identify with being a failure, you'll actually seek out opportunities to make your life worse. This is where so-called "success barriers" come from. What happens is you'll have some amazing opportunities come your way and you won't even take them. Why? Because succeeding would mean you're not you anymore. This explains why we're so resistant to change - even if it would be a good outcome for us. But this has more to do with what we tell ourselves - identity is what we repeatedly say we are. Whoever you believe yourself to be, you will unconsciously take actions to prove it. So whatever actions you take, make sure they're aligned with how you want to see yourself - each action is a vote for your future self. Roots
Now, let's look at this from a biological perspective.
As James Clear says in his book, Atomic Habits. "Your habits are modern-day solutions to ancient desires." In other words, we have outdated software. Let's take a look at some modern examples to explain this. Life or Death
Question: Why exactly does failure (at first) feel so damn scary?
Answer: Because failing in prehistoric times meant death. When you're walking up to a grand piano to play your recital piece, your primal brain is imagining coming face-to-face with a tiger that's about to consume you. This explains why public performances can feel like a life-or-death experience. But if you don't allow yourself to fail, here's the problem: it's going to happen sooner or later. For example, take forest fires. By preventing smaller forest fires from happening, it eventually transforms into a gigantic, uncontrollable blaze. Little mistakes help prevent bigger ones. And unlike our ancestors, we don't die if we make them. If you don't allow this to happen, you're setting yourself up for a huge disaster later in life. I once had a client who asked me for some career advice. She was questioning her work life and my guess is that she noticed how much I enjoyed being my own boss. We ended up having a conversation over coffee. It was a good talk and she made a plan to seek other job opportunities. Now ... she was rejected from her very first job application. I wanted to have faith in her, but I knew she was in trouble when she said: "I didn't get the job, but I'm happy because I experienced my first failure." First failure? As a grown adult? When you say something like that, the writing's on the wall - for some people change is just too hard (especially when they're older). Eventually, she just pretended we never had that conversation and our relationship quickly soured. Denial can be scary. He Who Casts The First Stone
Let me introduce you to fear of failure's twin brother: Fear of judgment.
Why are we so afraid of being judged? Let's circle back to the theme of tribe. For hundreds of millennia, we survived by being part of a group . Today, it sucks to be ostracized at school - or even worse, bullied. But that pales in comparison to back then. Once you got kicked out of your tribe, there was nothing to protect you from the dangers of mother nature. Isolation equaled death. This also explains the existence of people who NEVER apologize. Yes, some people are arrogant and have too much ego, but I venture to guess that most of them are actually just scared of being judged. I've had more than my fair share of clients like this - they ALWAYS have a convenient excuse ready. For example, forgetting to come to the lesson becomes a scheduling problem. Not paying the student's tuition on time means they must have not received the invoice. But it's important to not take any of this personally - or seriously. These people just haven't done enough self-examination to understand they're being run by these unconscious processes. To them, it must feel like some sinister force is in charge of their life. Again, denial is a scary thing It Hurts So Good
When you add all of this together, it explains why anything negative feels 10x worse than anything positive.
Seriously, you can have 10 successes in a row but ONE failure can make you miserable. For instance, try this as a mental exercise: Imagine becoming a millionaire. Now ... imagine that you first became a billionaire, and then lost so much money that all you were left with was a million dollars. You have the same amount of money, but does it feel the same? I think not. Going from 0 to a million dollars feels way better than losing yourself to the same amount. Let's go back to childhood. What happens is we have a few "failures" early on in life. Since we're so young, the effects can be quite traumatic. And if you have adults that pile on you, this compounds and magnifies those terrible feelings. You end up going through your entire life subtly (or not so subtly) haunted by less than a handful of these instances. We create a narrative based on these few experiences and keep telling ourselves this story until we grow up into adults. Write a better story for yourself. Onwards
So we've covered a lot of ground. We've examined the way society conditions us to view mistakes, as well as using biology and evolution to explain all that other stuff underneath the surface.
But instead of accepting all of this at face value, let's come up with our own more productive and useful definitions of mistakes. #1
First, let's define mistakes as purely information. They simply tell you how or how not to do things - which is why it's so detrimental to punish people for mistakes.
In terms of learning, mistakes just mean you need more experience and knowledge. Then again, if you're not making enough mistakes, it's a sign to challenge yourself more. For example, when one of my students is not making enough errors, it means they're a a bit too comfortable with the music. #2
Mistakes are also information about people. For instance, I believe how a person reacts to a blunder reveals everything about their character.
Personally, I love when this happens because I believe you don't truly understand a person until you both experience conflict. I've had instances where I thought I had great relationships with clients - sometimes for years - until I'm proven wrong. #3
Another way to define mistakes are symptoms of a bigger problem. I love seeing things this way because you realize mistakes are not the actual issue - so you don't make a big deal out of them.
Can you imagine a doctor getting "angry" at your symptoms? In your own dealings with people, this is why it's important to never shoot the messenger. Don't punish people for bringing you, supposedly, bad news. The worst thing you can do is immediately rush to judgment and assume they were neglectful. You might say something like, "why in the world did you do that?" But if you come off as accusatory, I guarantee you won't get the real facts from them. If you have an emotional reaction, you'll get an emotional response. So instead of "why did you do that?" ask them "what caused this to happen?" That way, both of you can now look at the problem objectively. She or he won't feel attacked or criticized and you both become collaborators trying to solve it together. #4
Lastly, mistakes are merely repetitions. And what are repetitions?
Learning. Imagine mistakes are like the iPhone. As someone who thought a beeper was the epitome of instant technological communication, it's amazing to to see how many models the original iPhone has gone through - and is still going through. Seriously, we're going to have iPhone 1000-X-F-P-J-T one day. The reason why products like these have come so far - and so soon - is that technology has allowed them to drastically increase the amount of repetitions (a.k.a. failures) through experimentation. Just in case you're not convinced, let's look at Atomic Habits, again: In the book, Clear presents a study where two groups were pitted against each other. The first group was told to create one perfect drawing to present at the end of - let's say - 30 days. The second group was told to create as many drawings as possible within that same period. You can guess what happened. The "repetition" group outperformed the other group by a landslide (it wasn't even close). Quantity of mistakes leads to better outcomes. By allowing yourself to make mistakes early and often, you radically increase your rate of learning. A List of "Failures"
Before we end this section, I present to you the following list of historical "mistakes"
(source: https://www.concordia.edu/blog/9-successful-inventions-made-byaccident.html)
Tools
In this last section, I'll share a few of my favorite tips. Some are tactics that you can use right away, while others are concepts to think about or mindsets to adapt for the long term.
Look Stupid
Now, this first suggestion is not for the faint of heart. I just wanted to throw this one in here because, in my opinion, it's the best way - and admittedly the most intimidating way - to get good at something in the shortest possible amount of time possible.
Here's an example from Scott Young's book Ultralearning. In chapter 3, Young talks about how his friend - Tristan de Montebello - became a world class public speaker. Montebello ended up placing in the top ten at a world public speaking championship. And he did this in less than 7 months! Even harder to believe is that he had ZERO public speaking experience (he was a musician). How did he do this? Well, besides totally immersing himself in the art of public speaking (reading, attending workshops, etc.) the most useful thing Montebello did was to place himself in intense, public environments. He would speak everywhere he had an opportunity. Conferences, Toastmasters' workshops, elementary schools and many other venues. I personally find that last one the most intimidating - if you know anything about kids, you know how brutally honest they can be. In short, he achieved this remarkable feat of becoming a world-class public speaker because he wasn't afraid to look stupid. By putting yourself into these so-called wicked learning environments, it's like progress on steroids. And since it's an environment where mistakes and failures are expected, you also desensitize yourself in the quickest way possible. In short, this method provides you with the most realistic feedback at an incredible pace. The only thing is finding out how much of that feedback is useful (which I'll cover in a future article). Here's another example: When he was getting ready for a huge TV special, Chris Rock (sucks to be slapped) would tour nearly every comedy club in the U.S. What was he doing at these clubs? Testing out his jokes - he'd even carry a notepad and pen while he was on stage. He was figuring out which jokes worked and which ones needed work. In other words, some jokes would be successful and other ones would completely bomb. And a year or so later, you'd miraculously see the finished product - an HBO special (or something similar). Here's one last example: As an avid language learner, I love watching YouTube channels of "polyglots" (people who speak more than 2 languages). And they also didn't care one about iota of public humiliation. With a bare minimum of self-study, they just jump into the fire - without care for proper grammar or pronunciation. And because of this, they make rapid progress. I remember a version of this when I was in college. We'd have weekly "piano forums" where we'd perform in front of our colleagues. Even if the pieces were in rough shape, we were still expected to play. It was a great way to do a public test run to get the most useful feedback possible - from a live audience of your colleagues (talk about pressure). So if you're courageous enough, this is absolutely my #1 tip. Congratulations, You've Failed!
I came across this next one from Seth Godin's The Practice.
Godin is an avid juggler. If you're learning juggling for the first time, he offers this advice:
In other words, practice failing. This is a surefire way to get over the fear of failure - and unlike the previous strategy, you can do this in private. Companies and businesses do this as well (the smart ones). Savvy owners will hire programmers to purposely bring their website down. If they don't do this in the beginning, when their business is finally up and running, a website crash can translate into thousands - if not millions - of dollars down the drain. This principle of failing is something gym rats also know very well. They understand that (occasional) failure leads to gains in strength. By doing enough reps until they can't possibly lift anymore, their muscles become stronger. In my own private lessons, this could be asking my students to purposely make mistakes while they're playing. Who knew rewarding students for failure could be so much fun? Like the saying goes, "fail fast, fail often." Bottom-Up
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time (but don't actually eat an elephant please).
Now, if the previous 2 strategies are too intimidating, here's a more user-friendly method:
The underlying concept is the "Goldilocks" rule - not too difficult, not too easy, but "just right." So lower the bar as far as possible and slowly raise it up. Here's an example of this is how use this to prep my private students for piano recitals:
Now, you might think this is overkill but understand that I usually do 2, maybe 3, recitals a year. When you don't have enough performances, the tendency is to put way too much pressure on each one. By doing it this way instead, I'm creating a public environment where they small-chunk their way to success. So whatever challenge or project you're dealing with, think about the smallest chunk - the smallest unit of success. Remember, it took Thomas Edison 10,000 tries to create the lightbulb. And it's not like he was betting the farm each and every time. Charlotte's Web
Here's one last bonus tip before we wrap things up.
I believe a big reason why people are afraid to fail or make mistakes is that they've stopped learning new things. If they were to pick up a new hobby, they'd realize that failing is a universal process. For example, here's how it felt when I started studying languages:
Of course, I plan to push myself towards fluency, and I expect many more ups and downs on the way. But the most important thing I learned from doing this is that the process was exactly the same as piano. And even more rewarding is that I was able to learn concepts and strategies from language acquisition and apply them to piano practice, performance and teaching. The process always wins in the end. Go Forth And Fail!
Click I've been a "failure" pretty much my entire life.
I've failed at teaching. I've failed numerous competitions. I've failed at making friends. And admittedly, this is something that haunted me my first few decades on this planet. But over time, I realized every successful person has failed. Instead of demotivating me, it gave me hope. Remember that:
Mistakes will never go away - that is, if you continue to strive and push yourself to greater heights. But I promise you that if your focus is mastery, you will eventually reach a level where things become easy. Then the cycle repeats. You'll feel like a beginner once more. You'll stumble and think, "I have to go through this again?" YES. To want it any other way is to run away from the truth. Honor the process. Make mistakes. Then win at life. Happy practicing!
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When you're starting or learning something completely new - like setting up a piano teaching business - the worst thing you can do is figure out everything by yourself.
You might eventually get through it, but you'll end up wasting a LOT of time. Instead of reinventing the wheel, learn from someone who's been there and done that. Someone like ... ME! How to Start a Piano Studio
So here's what to expect. We'll learn how to:
I wrote this blog post so that if you're an aspiring teacher with ZERO students, you can build a successful piano studio in half the time and pain it took me to do it. And even if you're not a piano teacher, I promise you'll learn some solid business principles. Now, I don't recommend planning these action steps in order. Instead, read the entire thing first and then plan out what you're going to do - everyone's journey is different. However, here's one SUPER-IMPORTANT point: Finish all of these stages as fast as humanly possible - it'll make sense at the end. And whatever you do, don't neglect anything. Think of all of this as one well-oiled machine - every moving part has to be working correctly at all times. Okay ... Let's get you some students!! Will the Real Slim Shady Please Stand Up?
What do you bring to the table? In other words ... what's your USP?
USP stands for "Unique Selling Proposition." This is about what makes you unique. What makes you so ... you. This might be the most important point in today's article. The reason is this: if you get your USP dialed down, you won't have any competition. Imagine there are 20 piano teachers in your area, what makes you special? What makes you different? Let's take an example from Seth Godin's book, "Purple Cow." Imagine you're driving by a field, and in that field you see nothing but cows. They don't stand out, you just drive right past them. But what if one of those cows was purple? I don't know about you, but I'd hop right out of my (parked) vehicle and examine that strange mammal up close - while taking plenty of selfies. So don't try to be "the best piano teacher" (a regular 'ol bovine) but a piano teacher who offers additional services or has special skills that no one else has (a purple cow). Here's a personal example of how I try to be as "purple" as possible:
One skill by itself might not make a difference, but the magic is when you combine everything together. And if you were a parent choosing a piano studio, how much would these additional services be worth to you? Answer: A LOT. So you must have other things to offer than just piano lessons. Sit down and spend as much time as possible to figure this out. Look to your free time for additional clues:
Now, you might not come up with anything. If that's the case, just get out there and start learning about as many different things as you can! Work with what you have - while learning new skills - and your USP will eventually develop over time. And even if you think you have your USP down, do this anyway. Here's one last suggestion:
But Wait ... There's More!
If your USP is the "what," now we're going to talk about the "how."
You've gotta learn to communicate your message in the clearest way possible. It's time for you to learn about ... sales. Now, there seems to be a stigma around selling, but remember that sales is only sleezy if it's done bad (just like a cheesy pickup line). At its heart, true selling is about filling a need in someone's life. It's about showing the prospect that it's in their best interest to work with you. By the way, you don't want to be marketing to everyone (a.k.a. don't be a cow). It's counter-intuitive, but by focusing on a smaller pool of prospects, you'll get more business (not less). Narrowing your message not only attracts the right people, but repels the wrong ones. Think of this process as a series of interviews. For example, most companies will usually go through several rounds until they settle on a handful of candidates. So how do we narrow down your choices to find ideal clients who are the perfect fit? Let's start with question numero uno:
It's like wanting to be in a relationship: The more you can define the qualities you look for in a partner, the easier time you'll have finding that special someone. And just like figuring out your USP, this will take time. You need to be as specific as possible. This is challenging because it involves putting yourself in the other person's shoes. You can't accomplish this goal without a healthy dose of empathy. Here's a useful example: Many businesses work on developing an avatar. No I'm not talking about those freaky looking neon-blue creatures, an avatar is a representation of a single person who represents their entire target audience. This person could be a 35-year old accountant with a wife and 2 kids who enjoys parasailing in their free time (don't ask me how I came up with that). So the more closely you define your own avatar, the more precise your communication will be. When that person comes across your message, they'll feel like you're speaking directly to them - almost like you're reading their mind. Now for question #2:
There's really no easy answer for this. The best suggestion I have is for you to think of all the products you have in your own life, ones that you enjoy or absolutely love. Make a list of everything these products do for you and what makes them special - as well as how the brands communicate with you. Other useful questions:
Answer these questions using as many business examples as possible (such as Amazon and Uber). One last piece of advice is to remember that what other people think of you matters more than what you think of yourself. Go Fish
Let's talk about students ... how to get them.
Your first and immediate goal should be to get just ONE student (even if you have a few, just pretend you don't have any). This is because you need to small-chunk the entire process. There are many steps involved, and thinking of all of them at once is too overwhelming. So how many ways are there to get students? Two:
Let's take a look at the first one - in the following section, I'll give you advice on cost-effective (zero-dollar) strategies. The Social Network
Start with your current social network, because it's going to be the easiest way to get your first student - since people who know you, trust you.
Reach out to everyone you know. Ask friends, family, acquaintances or colleagues - anyone you have a connection to. And don't worry if you're not close to the people you contact, a lot of my own opportunities have come from people I've only met once or twice in my life. In my experience, most people are more than willing to help you - even if they don't get anything in return (but try your best to pay them back). In addition, hit up your local venues: small businesses, mom-and-pop shops, restaurants, cafes, the community center, etc. Many of these places will have a community board. And if you're savvy enough to print your own business cards, leave those with them as well. Let Freedom Ring
I 100% believe you'll get at least a few students out of this approach, but let's say you've had limited success. If you're not happy with the results, here's a foolproof way to get more students instantly ...
Teach for free. This might not be a popular choice, but it's a GUARANTEED way to get more students in the shortest amount of time possible - while gaining a ton of experience. There's always demand for free. Additionally, since you have nothing to lose you get to test out any ideas you have - no matter how off-the-wall they might be. And if you end up doing a great job, those prospects will become paying clients. But if not getting paid sounds too risky to you, add in some constraints such as offering the first month free or 50% off. SIDE NOTE: Once you have some students, ASK THEM FOR REFERRALS! It drives me nuts when people leave a valuable source untapped - and one that's right in front of their face! And speaking of referrals, sweeten the pot for your current clients. Offer them free lessons or some other type of reward. Yes, you'll end up losing income in the short term but if you get 2 or 3 new students out of it, I'd say it's a good deal. It's important to give people incentives to help you - help them help you, that is. Would You Like Fries With That?
Now, if you'd rather watch paint dry than teach for free, here's one last suggestion. This is the most traditional and popular route - mostly because the previously mentioned methods have some risk involved.
Get a job at a music studio. Side note: If you plan on operating your own brick-and-mortar studio one day, it's an excellent way to see for yourself what's involved. Now, a caveat is that the usual requirement is a college degree (and often teaching experience). But if you get past the job interview, you'll get your first student almost immediately. However, once you have a steady paycheck - and ideally have some money left over - you need to quit as soon as possible. You might be thinking, "what are you talking about? I just got this job and you're telling me to skedaddle?" Well, let me explain from my personal experience (I've worked at a few studios myself). They will usually take more than half of your hourly rate. So if they charge $40 per hour, you're taking home $18 - or even less. And it will be a year or more for a meager raise (if they even offer you one). Perhaps that sounds okay to you - I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what they're doing. As a business owner, it's not a bright idea to pay your teachers more than you pay yourself. The bigger reason to get out of there is that you have no control over your work environment. You have no say when it comes to their policy, as well as getting to choose your own students. You teach who they tell you to teach and work when they tell you to work. And if a student is a no show? Usually, you not only don't get paid, but end up with a half hour (or more time) to kill. And don't forget, they can fire you at any time they want without any warning whatsoever - read up on the pitfalls of being a contracted laborer. In short, they don't care about keeping you happy. You're just there to make them money. This lack of control will make you miserable (unless you don't like making decisions). So if you choose to go this route, get in and learn what you can. Then get out as fast as possible - that is, if you want to be your own boss one day. Of course, this is assuming that it's not a good work environment. Personally, I never found a place I wanted to stay at - but who knows what would've happened had I found a great boss. Now ... If you end up leaving, you might consider our next action step slightly immoral: Take as many students with you as you can. You might say, "isn't that shady?" If this is what you're thinking, remember:
Yes, I've done this in the past. And no, I didn't have any problems with it. This is because I sincerely believed my students would be worse off if I left them there. Which makes sense, because a business owner that doesn't care about his or her teachers definitely doesn't care about the students. So ... should you be upfront with them? Should you let the studio owner know exactly what you're planning? Personally, I'd totally be okay with it. Heck, I might even be motivated to work with you (I like ambitious people). But I'd imagine you're better off keeping this tactic to yourself. If You Build It, Maaaaybe They'll Come
Now let's talk about getting the word out about who you are - we're going to focus on marketing.
Think about Zoom and Uber Eats. Why did they EXPLODE in popularity when the pandemic hit? Well ... they were online and everyone was home - DUH. But it's also because they were in position to capture everyone's attention at the right time. And where is everyone's attention these days? On their phone, a.k.a. the internet. So let's look at some ways to get that attention for yourself. Cast Your Net Wide
Get on as many different platforms as possible. Position yourself everywhere you think people might be looking for piano lessons - and even places where you don't think they're looking (you'd be surprised).
And make sure the messages are relevant to your target audience (a.k.a. don't SPAM people). Remember that your language needs to be specific. We're on all the platforms but we're not marketing to everyone. I don't have time to go into it here, but here's a bare minimum of what you'll need to set up:
I say bare minimum because there are many more out there. You also want to be on the lookout for any emerging platforms (social media, apps, websites, etc.) as well. This is because they all have a "life cycle." Remember when Friendster and Myspace were popular? If you don't know what I'm talking about ... I envy your youth. Well, the same fate awaits Instagram as well as everything else. You just don't know when it's going to happen. The other reason you want to be everywhere is that you don't know in advance which source will be the most effective. Where the traffic comes from will most likely be different for everyone. For example, I get most of my students online (Yelp or Google). However, nearly all of my wife's students have been through word-of-mouth (personal referrals). Now, once you have this set up it's time to ask for reviews and testimonials. Don't be bashful. If you want people to sign up with you, they need to be able to trust you first. And there's no better way to do this than by showing them what your current clients think about you. So once you have these reviews and testimonials, plaster them all over the place. This is social proof - like that guy you knew in high school who got all the girls. The ladies were willing to date him because he had an excellent track record to back it up. When you're done with that, you'll need to actively develop content (blogging, videos, podcasts, etc.). Imagine your online presence is a fire - content is the wood that keeps it burning. If you just set everything up and leave it as-is, it will slowly die out. So what type of content should you post? That depends on your USP. If you did a good job developing it - and you've done enough research to know what you're talking about - the content should naturally arise. By the way, all the amount of advertising and marketing in the world is not going to help you if people are confused about who you are and what you do - especially if you're the one confusing them Hmmm ... clear communication seems to be a theme ... Measure What Matters
So once you've "lit" that fire - and you're keeping it going with content - you should be getting a lot of inquiries.
Next, start capturing data. You're going to measure everything - how many hits you're getting on what platforms as well as what type of person is contacting you. DO NOT skip this step. The reason why is you'll either verify you're on the right track or notice you'll have to change things up. This is because the type of business you get depends on what's out there. In other words, the market. Here's a personal example. When I started out, I thought there would be plenty of demand for intermediate classical pianists. What did I base this on? Pure Imagination (cue Willy Wonka). What did I get instead? Beginners. Literally nothing but beginners - for years (and to this day). Which was actually a great experience for me - when you know how to teach complete beginners, you can teach anyone. Not to mention the market for beginners is HUGE. So, you might want to have a studio full of little Mozarts ... but reality doesn't care. You can't change what's out there, you have to work with what's available (unless you're willing to pack up your bags and move). Now, that might change later, because once you have an established reputation - and people are spreading the word about you - it becomes possible to create demand where there previously wasn't. But if you're not getting enough bites, you need to change your messaging because people aren't buying what you're selling. Home Improvement
If you made it this far, give yourself a healthy round of applause. Get yourself something nice because you've done a LOT of hard work and you deserve it.
Now I want to share one of my favorite sayings in life:
And a second one:
This means you must simply work on improving. Tirelessly. Endlessly. Read books. Attend workshops. Watch masterclasses. Absorb EVERY bit of knowledge that you can. And don't just stick to purely piano or classical music. Nearly everything I've learned that has helped me to become a better teacher, I've learned outside of piano. Technical and personal skills. Why do you gotta keep going? It's because I've seen so many successful businesses STOP DOING THINGS THAT ARE WORKING. Either that or the quality of their service or product just slips to a pathetic level. The hardest thing is to stay patient and to continue to strive for progress - if you're dedicated to mastery, you have a long way to go. So how do you keep yourself from giving up? Honor the process. When you purely focus your attention on the action itself, it keeps you motivated and happy. You enjoy what you're doing because you enjoy it - and it keeps your mind off of results. If it's going to be a long road ahead, you better enjoy it as much as possible. And remember, don't get complacent - it only takes one bad experience to lose a good client and student. Endgame
Let's say you've "done" it. You're successful, at least on your own terms.
I would then have 2 questions for you:
And even if you answered yes to both questions, remember that anything can happen. I pray that you have a long, fruitful life devoid of any tragedy. But for the sake of argument, let's play Devil's Advocate. What if something happened one day and you weren't able to teach any more? Like ... permanently? Look, I can't imagine retiring from teaching any time soon. But not having the ability to teach and play piano seems like a total nightmare. That scenario would definitely be one of the worst experiences I could ever imagine going through. That being said, I have plenty of other interests and skills I could fall back on. If you can't say the same, then that's your entire source of income down the drain. Not only that, if you haven't learned to be good at anything else you're basically starting over. When you're young it doesn't matter so much, you've got drive and plenty of time to look forward to. But when you're older, you don't have that luxury. So start thinking about it now, pleeeeease listen to what I have to say. If you want to be set for life there's more work to be done. Now even if you're healthy for the rest of your life, there's a limit to how many students you can teach in a day, or even want to teach. If you want to make more money this way, the only way is to increase your hours. Of course you should be raising your rates too, but there's a limit to that as well. So ... do you want to work more hours? Do you really want to be up until 9pm every day? Trading your time for more money ultimately means less time to do other things you enjoy - as well as learning new skills to increase your value (and your rate). Instead of putting in more time for money, how about putting in time for more time AND money? It's about having options. Doing something because you want to, not because you have to. What I mean is you need to set up a system. Something that makes money for you without needing to consistently put in more hours. If this doesn't make sense, let's define teaching piano as active income (one-on-one) and setting up a system as passive income (one-to-many). One way to set up passive income is to open your own music studio and hire teachers. I'll be honest, to me this is the least appealing choice (but hey, everyone's different). It's just because there's so much upfront work involved. Not only that, you need to know the ins and outs of everything. There's also a ton of risk involved - according to the latest U.S. Bureau of Labor statistics, 1 out of 5 businesses fail within the first year and after 5 years half will fail. And you incur a LOT of debt, such as a business loan (if you can even get approved). On top of that, there's more expenses - rental, insurance, taxes, licenses - AND you need to find a venue to teach at (finding a place to rent is NOT easy). Not to mention the responsibility of training every single employee you hire. As the official business owner, teacher AND manager, you are responsible for everything my friend. But if you're up for the challenge, go for it! Just do it while you're still young. What I've found to be a better option is teaching what I know online - instead of working in your business, you work on it. So you can start a YouTube channel, get really good at social media - and perhaps create an online course or an ebook - or start a blog (like me). Don't get me wrong, it still takes a ton of patience and effort but the result is being able to make money without constantly increasing your hours. Now you might even do something completely different at this point - like workshops. It's not exactly passive income, but if you can get a lot of people to sign up you're making a lot of cash at once. And these are not the only choices, the opportunities are endless - it really depends on your resourcefulness. For example, I remember mentoring a colleague of mine a few years back. He took what he learned and set up an audio recording/engineering business during the pandemic AND while he was still a college student. Whatever the case, decide what you want to do. NOW. You've Got This
So there you have it, my master plan for any piano teacher starting from ground zero. I hope you take what you've learned here and use it for your own success.
Remember to come back and re-read this post as many times as necessary, you'll have better results - it takes time to fully internalize each step. There are definitely many ups and downs in your future and on your toughest days you'll want to quit, but remember that you've got this. Every problem has a solution and even if you don't find one here, use what you learn to find your own answers. Don't depend on luck - be deliberate in your actions and you'll have good results. I wish you nothing but success. Happy practicing!
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A Guide to Building Customer Relationships
Are you building important relationships with your customers?
You might ask, "Is this even important? Isn't my job to just show up and teach them to get better at piano?" ... NO! Newsflash: The world is complicated, and so are people. It's not enough to just be good at your job. If you want to attract high-quality clients, love what you do - and get paid well for it - keep on reading. Building Customer Relationships
Here's a secret: People don't care about how good you are. And they don't care about how much you know.
This is because your skillset is secondary. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's bad to work on your skills. After all, you definitely should do your best to be the best. But if you want to build an actual, thriving business, then this one thing is all that matters: What do your customers think of you? How good you are at something matters less than your clients' perception of you. And they will base their perception of you on what they feel for you. As Zig Ziglar once said, "people don't care about you until they know how much you care about them." Most businesses do the complete opposite. They become too focused on their product or services. It's like being a piano teacher that only cares about the music. The problem is ... they completely ignore the person in front of them. Now, you might succeed if you're the only one in your industry. But more likely, there are hundreds - if not thousands - of people making the things you make, doing the things you do. So if you think of your business as just a product (or a service) ... then you're just another commodity. And when you're a commodity, that usually means you have to compete on price. To compete on price often means lowering your prices. That's a fast way to go broke. With this strategy, only businesses with the deepest pockets will succeed. It becomes a war of attrition to see how much money can be thrown at a problem until their competitors quit or fail . Yet, you can sidestep this scenario and make your competition non-existent by delivering in another way. Can You Handle The Truth?A quick story about my father's business ventures: For my entire childhood, he ran a dry cleaners. His first store was so successful that he opened another, and then a third location. In hindsight, this was a terrible idea. Not only did it nearly bankrupt us - we had to close up shop and find a new way to make money - he just didn't understand this one, important principle: The other stores failed ... because he wasn't there. People weren't there to only get their clothes cleaned (and freshly pressed), they came because they loved talking to him (my dad's always been a friendly guy). Just through interacting with everyone, he built important customer relationships. And this wasn't a strategy. He wasn't even aware this could be a strategy, he did all this by default (I told you he was a friendly dude). He mistook superior people skills for business skills. He thought the store was his product, but he didn't realize his product was actually his customers. Stand Out From the Crowd
So do what my dad did - just not on accident.
This is your secret weapon, the most potent cure to all of your business problems (well, almost all of them). And it's not even that hard because most businesses don't care about people. The bar is lower than it's ever been! Do you remember the last time someone actually looked you in the eye, gave you a warm smile and was genuinely curious about how your day was going? Me neither. It's more like I can count on my fingers how many times that's actually happened in the past year. But ... I remember those interactions because it made me feel special. When you care about your customers, you make them feel the same way. You show them that they can trust you. And when you have their trust, work is fun. It becomes less about competing on price, and more about offering value or taking your service and skills to the next level Just think about how much more energy you would have if your customers weren't just financially, but emotionally invested in you. Imagine being excited waking up every day to work. Your relationships become Win-Win. Your customer's success becomes your success. Now, looking forward to work, having high-quality clients and feeling fulfilled are just a few benefits of a people-based approach. Let's take a look at one more major one. Price Check On Aisle 7
After my father's business setback, he bought and operated a liquor store. And yes, he repeated the same mistake. He thought his business acumen made the store successful.
Again, it was because the customers loved him, not our high prices. There were at least 2 stores down the block who charged HALF of what we did, no joke. But from this experience, I learned a very important lesson: You can charge higher prices if you back it up with excellent people skills. When I started applying this to my piano studio, I also discovered higher prices attracted the right people. So not only do you get better customers with this approach, it also keeps the wrong ones away - people looking for the cheapest options are usually the worst clients. And even if a few prospects balk at your price, imagine having a full wait-list of clients who can't wait to take their place. But to get to this point, you need to compete against yourself - not other mediocre businesses - and make sure your price always, and accurately, reflects your value (what you offer other than your service or product). Now, if you always raise your quality of work then you'll be able to consistently raise your prices as well. This can definitely feel uncomfortable (more like terrifying). The first time I did this, I imagined clients leaving by the drove, shouting at me while I dissolved into a disgraceful, unrecognizable lump of a former human-being. What really happened is I got ZERO pushback. And I believe it's because my services go beyond teaching piano. Once you get to this point, you can create a "positive spiral":
So higher prices create better outcomes that allow you to charge higher prices to create even better outcomes ... to infinity and beyond! Who would want to get off this ride? The Secret Sauce
By now, I've hopefully convinced you why customer relationships matter so much. So how do you get out of your own head and into your customers' minds?
First, be interested and not interesting. What I mean is don't try to convince a prospect with your words. Instead, be interested in every word that comes out of their mouth. Sounds simple in theory, but the key is to not treat this as a means to an end. You have to be genuinely interested in the other person just for the sake of finding them interesting. When you connect at this level, it's real to them - people know when someone's faking. It also helps you feel less lonely. When you start out as a piano teacher/business owner, it's just you. When you think that you're the "lone wolf" you tend to see other people as your competition, the enemy. Clients are conquests to be conquered. But when you believe everyone is interesting, you bring them over to your side. They become almost a friend, someone invested in your success. And I can tell you the biggest shift in my professional career was when I started to put the needs of my clients above my own. Help people and they'll help you. Of course, there's a caveat. You have to be on the lookout for "takers." With these people, the more you give the more they'll take advantage of you. But remember, your above-average prices should repel most of them. Stillness Speaks
In this last section, here are 3 simple steps to connect with anyone.
That's it. If you have a hard time remembering, I suggest you (temporarily) tattoo it across your forehead. If you were to sit in on my piano lessons, I'd ask you to pay attention to the first 5 minutes. At EVERY lesson, I begin with the question "what do you have to share this week?" This is to show them that I care about them and I want to know what's going on in their personal lives. And when they start sharing, I let them "empty their tank." Because of this simple gesture, they begin to realize that their well-being is more important to me than any music I'll ever teach them. By the way, it's not about just staying quiet. You listen with your whole body - and your mind. Are you looking them in their eyes? Do you nod along with your head? Is your body posture open and facing them? So ... why exactly is listening with your full attention so powerful? It's because when you do this successfully, you shine a giant spotlight on the person in front of you. And who doesn't love that type of attention? So many times students get lost in their own grind - chores, homework, endless activities - and when you do this one simple thing, they feel like the star of their own movie. And this is something you should be able to relate to as well. Everyone, at least once in their lives, has had the experience of being the complete center of someone else's attention. It feels magical. But understand that not everyone's comfortable with this attention in the beginning. After all, if you're walking down the street do you want everyone to - all of a sudden - start staring at you? So at first, it can feel awkward until some of the students realize that I really am interested in them. And by the way, they won't always have something to share (or even want to) and this is 100% A OKAY. It's the effort that counts. So remember: Ask Questions. Shut Up. Listen. We Are Family
So don't look at a potential customer as a dollar sign, see them as a person. Don't just offer a service or a product, create your own tribe.
Now, I'm not saying you need to make your customers your friends. But there's no reason you can't be as friendly as possible. And when it comes down to it, there is no product, no service that doesn't rely on people. Make them feel valued and you will always be in demand. Happy practicing.
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This blog post reflects my thoughts and lessons I’ve learned (and have been learning) because of the Coronavirus. Before I start, I just want to make a short disclaimer that this is intended for people or businesses who haven’t been adversely affected. If you haven’t been as lucky, my heart goes out to you. I apologize that this might not be constructive or uplifting for you. But if you’re fortunate enough that you haven’t lost your job or, God forbid, a loved one, then this one’s for you.
Profits Over People
Let me know if this is a familiar experience for you. You walk into a store, restaurant, or business.
Either as a first-time customer or maybe it’s even one of your favorite joints. You roll up to the counter/register, or sit down at a restaurant table. You greet them with a smile (and sometimes it’s not easy to smile!) and you genuinely ask them how their day is going. Response: a blunt “good/fine” without so much a glance in your direction. Or how about this? You visit during regular business hours and… they’re closed. You call their phone over and over… no one picks up. And nobody calls back after you leave a message. Now, a telephone call might not be too big of a deal and it’s but a minor nuisance if they’re closed (if you live down the block). But what if you drove a half hour to check the place out? What if the five-minute phone call was the only free time you had that day? Oh, and you also double-check their website or social media (if they even have any of those) and see… nothing. No updates, no notices, nada… How did that make you feel? How does that make you feel thinking about it right now? You surely don’t feel valued or even acknowledged as a person. You probably feel like they saw you as adollar sign. Their actions practically screaming “NEXT! Thanks for your money, goodbye.” Stay with this idea for a moment. The Coronavirus Aftermath/Damage Control
What I believe: this global catastrophe exposed these so-called businesses and organizations. Maybe exposed is a harsh word, let’s just say it magnified the obvious.
I saw some of these same places now begging their “customers” to help keep their businesses running. But why do they deserve help? They didn’t care about you when you were paying their bills, and all of a sudden they’re on the offensive. A completely 180 on customer service. Saying things like we want to earn your trust, we appreciate your support (things they didn’t say BEFORE all this happened). Strange how “consumer-focused” these places have suddenly become. If you don’t believe me, try looking at their Yelp accounts. Sure, you’ll definitely see good reviews. Four stars, maybe even five. I’ve certainly done that with new places. Just trying to give a place some shine. Because I had a good time. Because I want people to succeed. And yet, what are their responses? Silence. Nothing. But when they get a negative review? AN IMMEDIATE REPLY. I understand that we psychologically focus on the negative. Pain is much more of a motivator than pleasure after all (sometimes I think about that online troll for days). But why not reward your customers for giving you long term business? Why treat people who gave you negative reviews better than your long-time clients? So no, I don’t feel bad that these places are struggling. Not that I want to see them go bankrupt (we all have mouths to feed). But when you treat people like an ATM card, you don’t have my sympathy. People Over Profit
Please humor me as I share my own story (I’ll try to keep it short).
As I’ve matured throughout the years, an idea that has kept me passionate about the work I do is focusing on the human element in my studio. That doesn’t mean I don’t deliver on education. You bet I do my best to make each lesson as informative, educational and value-packed as possible. But I realized you need to put each client, each individual student’s needs above the music, and above the “almighty” dollar. In fact, chasing money in the short term is what caused me to fail many times. To be fair, when you’ve just dropped out of your doctorate program with no job opportunities, it’s pretty hard to not put a premium on making money (first you must survive). But each failure taught me I wasn’t connecting with the people paying my bills. Today, nothing is as satisfying as making those connections, letting your clients know you care about them as a person. And whether you’re a new student or not, the priority is always understanding your needs, feelings and thoughts before we even sit down on that piano bench. I want you to feel good (because it makes me feel good too). So when this coronavirus nightmare began, it just confirmed how important this idea is. I never second-guessed my decisions when it came to my studio’s health and safety (shutting down in-person lessons ahead of businesses around me). But there’s no way I could tell you it wasn’t nerve-wracking. It’s only later that you realize your ENTIRE income could vanish if everyone decided to ghost you. What’s even scarier is when your decisions are basically the opposite of everyone else around you. But the question that kept my compass pointing to true north is: would I regret these choices later down the road? NO. And I’m happy to say my students appreciated that as well, because most of them are still with me. I feel extremely fortunate to be able to pay my bills and feed my household month to month. And to the students who are on hiatus? There’s no judgment. We’re all adjusting and fighting this challenge on our own terms. And when they want to start again, I will welcome them back with open arms… or maybe elbows/fist bumps People Above All
Now even with all the doom and gloom being transmitted by the media, I love the inspirational stories that have been coming out.
Businesses that have completely pivoted to offer their services to those in dire need. Restaurants telling you to bring your unemployment papers so that they can feed you free of charge. Hardware stores donating their supplies to the medical frontline. Luxury foods now being offered for a fraction of the price, and meals donated to their surrounding communities. Stay-at-home moms sewing their hands off so all their neighbors can have a mask to wear. This shouldn’t come as a surprise. As human beings, we’ve been through worst throughout history. And in times of difficulty we show our very best, and no doubt our very best is yet to come. And the best of us will get through this, because these events pull all the right people together (while repelling the opposite). It’s true that the economy might be tanking. But as long as we focus on people, we’ll come back stronger. Because the people are the ones who run the economy. Not the companies, not the corporations, and most certainly not the government. We’ll rebuild from the bottom up. From each neighborhood, community and city. And when we open society again, I believe the power will belong to those who are the kindest. And hopefully these profit-seeking organizations will never forget their failures (probably not). If they don’t, it’s up to the rest of us to keep spreading the message. The answer is NOT profits. The answer is people. Always has been and always will be. Wishing you all safety, health, and happiness.
"NOTE: This post was originally published in 2020."
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