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How to Rock Your Next Piano Recital

12/30/2019

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Playing in a piano recital is a bit like the expression “let the chips fall where they may.” Meaning that you can’t control what happens in a performance, unlike practicing at home. One example I use to illustrate this difference to my students is by asking them, “What’s the difference between watching a DVD and going to the movie theatre?” [Next time you go to the movies, try raising your hand and asking them to pause the film while you use the bathroom xP]​

But I never liked the idea of crossing your fingers and hoping for the best. Although you can’t completely control how the performance will unfold, there are things you can do to prepare your piano students to play their potential.

The most important thing to keep in mind is the objective and goal for each individual student. As a teacher, find out what you want each of your students to achieve and reverse-engineer it. Objectives and goals must be custom-tailored to where each student is at in their musical journey and development.

For example, consider a first-time performer. For these newbies, we want to set expectations and standards as low as possible.  However, this isn’t an excuse for them to tank their performance; it’s to make their experience as pressure-free and enjoyable as possible. The goals at this level are simply to have fun and make it to the end of their performance.

For my more experienced students we raise the standards. When recitals feel “normal” for them, we can begin focusing on more challenging objectives. We talk about how their last performance went and I provide my own feedback as to what went well and what needs improvement. We focus on stage presence and communicating confidence with posture. On the stage, their goals are to play through their mistakes as seamlessly as possible, keeping a steady rhythm no matter what happens and allowing their expressiveness (dynamics, ideas, phrasing) to come out.

The proper mindset for a recital is that it’s not a competition. It’s an event to share your progress or test out new ideas. If anything, you’re competing against yourself. The audience and fellow students are there to support you. It’s amazing to me that sometimes a student will be shocked when I say that everyone is rooting for you, that they actually want you to do well.

With every student there are practical activities they can participate in to bring out their best performance, or at least their best effort. Keep in mind, though, that the end goal for all students should still be to enjoy themselves in the moment as much as possible. I also want them to look at each performance as a learning experience. It’s not about getting all the “right notes” or “not making mistakes.”

A successful performance has nothing to do with accuracy. In fact, what the professionals do better is not playing “perfectly”; it’s the way they react or respond to mistakes or memory slips that makes them different. Focusing on getting the “right notes” or “not making mistakes” will get you more mistakes. [As an exercise, try not to think of the color BLUE]

You (also) get what you don’t want.

For our recent piano recital I had many students, if not all, “rehearse” at their lessons. This entailed literally sitting at their chair, walking to the piano, playing, and bowing after finishing. At the same time I would ask questions such as: What is your cue to play? When are you supposed to bow? How many times do you bow? Why do you bow? Where do you go after you finish playing? The point of these questions is not to make them think more, it’s to help get them out of their heads. Seems like a paradox, right?

Well let me tell you, on recital day these kids are unbelievably nervous (especially if it’s their first time). This little event is a big deal for them. So it goes without saying that I want them to feel as comfortable as possible. Confidence will come in the knowledge that they know what to do every step of the way. Instead of freaking out, they’re waiting for their cue. Instead of shaking in their boots, they’re reminding themselves of when they’re supposed to bow.

Taking the focus off of yourself is a lot like volunteering. One of the reasons people enjoy volunteering so much is that it puts their attention onto something more worthwhile. In much the same way my hope is that the students will take their focus off of how nervous or scared they feel and onto the experience and audience in front of them.

It’s awareness.

As a side note, many students’ stage fright comes from lack of experience, not enough preparation, or even a traumatic childhood event. Lack of experience or getting past a trauma is not an immediate fix, but preparation is something we can do right away.

One huge mistake is trying to cram right before a recital. Many teachers start way too late to prepare for a recital, performance, or piano exam. Their motto is start slow, finish fast. But the proper execution is to start fast and finish slow. What I mean is intensely practicing as if the recital is next week when in fact it’s 3 months away.

Set buffer deadlines [mini-deadlines] instead of one big deadline. It’s like giving yourself a few safety nets instead of just one. Then as the recital approaches they can adjust and have a more relaxed strategy or continue to practice as hard as they want, all the while taking solace in the fact that they are extremely well prepared.

A great method to gauge a student’s preparation is to ask the following question:  Is this the best you can play at this very moment? If they say yes, they’re ready! No means more practice.

This is a great question because it allows the students to intuitively tell if they’re good to go. It permits them be honest with themselves and when they can be self-honest, it makes for a powerful incentive to practice more. I’ve found that when students are lagging behind their practice, this question jolts them out of their seats. It’s like a button gets switched on for them and they practice without me prodding them.

And even if they don’t make it in time, it’s still a learning experience. Whatever the result, it’s good for them to know that they could have come better prepared. It’s a spark I hope will motivate them for the next time around.

The last thing I would say is to help each student believe in themselves. I had an incident with a student where his preparation was not going well. My gut reaction was to be critical, wondering if he wasn’t practicing because he was being lazy or undisciplined. It was an eye-opener when I realized he simply didn’t believe he was capable of playing well. He didn’t think that piano was something he could be good at. Luckily, we found out in time to have a great turn-around.

Remember what Seneca said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

So when opportunity comes knocking, you can be sure I want my kids to be prepared to create their own luck.

Happy practicing.
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Infinite Motivation- How to Have It Pt II

12/23/2019

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In this blog post I go deeper into motivation while offering suggestions of how to practically implement each strategy. For the first of this 2-part blog post, click this:​

So the most important question you can ask yourself is not “how can I motivate myself?” It’s more like “what type of motivation works best for me?”

Why is this such an important question? Well, think of having the right type of motivation as being the right “fit” for you. If you’re using the wrong strategy it’s like trying to stick a square peg into a round hole. It just won’t work.

“Focus” is a great book on motivation and talks about two specific types in detail. They call it “Promotion” and “Prevention.” It might make more sense for you to think of it as “Pleasure” vs. “Pain” (À la Tony Robbins).

So what exactly are these two motivation strategies about? Let’s start with promotion-orientation.

Being promotion-focused is thinking about all the benefits and rewards that you will receive from completing your task or goal (the upside). If you think about what makes an entrepreneur or businessman successful, it’s that they’re far more likely to believe in achieving results by taking a certain amount of risk because they believe the reward will be that much greater. It’s more motivating for them to think in this manner than feeling offset by the fear of losing what they have.

But I want to stress that it’s not one motivation that’s better than the other. It’s about first understanding which one is better for you and then using it the right way.

Let’s take a surgeon or a doctor using promotion-orientation the WRONG way. “I think I’ll try out that risky, experimental technique I just heard about. 90% rate of failure? NO! 10% chance of success! Great odds!” Would you want to be their next patient/Do you have a death wish?

On the other end of the spectrum we have prevention-focus. Prevention-orientation is thinking of the bad things that may happen as a result of your actions or inactions. Note: This is NOT negative thinking. You’re trying to “prevent” bad things from happening, not exactly a negative outcome.

If you’re a defendant in court, you want a lawyer who is extremely prevention-oriented a.k.a someone who will “prevent” you from going to jail. The same goes for a dentist. You want someone who will help you prevent cavities and preserve your teeth.

Another example could be an accountant. Someone who will prevent the loss of your money due to mistakes in your financial records or tax preparation.

So even though I said promotion is upside, so is prevention!

It’s back to this idea of the right fit. Get the square peg into the square hole. Test out and find the right motivation strategy for yourself.

Most people will gravitate towards one or the other but whatever strategy you choose, again make sure you use it the right way.

Generally speaking, we’re much more promotion-oriented when we’re younger. We have this feeling of invincibility, like we have nothing to lose. Let’s all collectively shudder when we think back to all the dumb, even life-risking activities we partook in as a child. [Hmmm… I think I’ll stick my finger into that electrical outlet *BZZZ*]

So what happens is we usually switch to prevention-orientation when we get older. It makes sense when you think of how much more we have to lose by then and how much more challenges we’ve had to overcome. But it also explains how successful people can lose it all when they achieve their goals or how other people can lose their motivation to keep working hard. They get too comfortable, switching from the motivation that got them there (promotion) and relying on the motivation that didn’t (prevention).

Two illuminating examples of this are Albert Einstein and Sigmund Freud. They were mavericks in their heyday and became extremely stubborn near the end of their lives. [Success is as dangerous as failure, but that’s a topic for another blog post]

Of course the opposite is true as well. All of us are probably familiar with the story of a person who saves a fortune throughout his entire life and blows it all away in a single night. Vegas anyone??

I believe the right method is to use both types of motivation strategies. That’s not say to it’s going to be a perfect 50/50 split, you’ll most likely go 80% one motivation and 20% the other.

In my piano studio, I use a reward system. Each day of practice is 1 point and every 30 points nets the student $5 (promotion). They’re able to trade them in for a reward or save up for a bigger prize. After they’ve accumulated enough points I now have leverage: if they get lax in their practice or if their progress has been lacking, then I will begin to deduct their points (prevention).

The dilemma is that some students respond well to this and some don’t. For those who don’t, I’ve had to get creative. One student in particular had been practicing sporadically. This very same student loves his Instagram account, so together we came up with the idea that every missed day of practice would amount to one week of not being able to use his Instagram account. The very next week he had practiced 7 days straight (and the weeks after that). Fear of loss worked more effectively than gain of reward, especially when that “loss” was near and dear to his heart (Prevention over Promotion).

Of course this will only work if the student is willing to be accountable. If she’s not, then that’s where the parent must get involved. There’s only so much I can do as a teacher; I can’t force anyone to take responsibility.

I believe the most important lesson a student can learn is accountability and I think it’s best to teach this concept to them as soon as possible. Do you really think it’s a good idea for your child to realize there are no consequences for their actions?

Now, how can we use this in our personal life?

Let’s take one of my favorite topics: Exercise. I’m totally biased with my approach and one of my biggest motivations in exercising consistently is to occasionally pig out guilt-free. Say you’ve been crushing your workouts on a daily basis. You’re eating healthier, cleaner, getting more greens in your diet and limiting your junk food. I say treat yourself to a nice, high-quality dessert or favorite snack. Then, after you’ve built consistency over a longer period of time give yourself an epic cheat meal. I generally do my cheat meals once or twice a week. If you really want to get extreme see if you can continually exercise and eat healthy for 3-4 weeks. Then give yourself a cheat DAY!

Mentally you can visualize yourself getting the body of your dreams, gaining a sense of increased confidence, buying a new wardrobe and feeling more attractive. Imagine yourself getting older without injuries or diseases.

Now let’s examine the prevention side. Let’s say I get lazy and skip a workout. The next day I’ll prepare myself to do twice the workload (of course without being an idiot and injuring myself). A simple example could be skipping a half-hour walk. You MUST resolve to do an hour walk the next day. I’ll also skip that dessert or cheat meal I’ve been looking forward to.

Again you can use mental visualization and see yourself feeling sluggish and tired. Imagine getting out of shape and no longer fitting into your clothes. Picture yourself in old age getting a heart attack, waking up with pain or ending up in a wheel chair.

By self-punishing and self-rewarding it trains my brain to understand that there will be severe consequences if I ignore my most important tasks and great benefits when I accomplish them.

So use this example I’ve given you as a practical model and apply it in any area of life in which you’ve been struggling. And remember that none of this will work unless you’re willing to be accountable. Find a buddy, a spouse, or a partner who won’t take it easy on you, who will call you out on your BS. If you’re really having trouble, try publicly stating you’ll donate to a charity if you don’t do what you’re supposed to. If you want to up the ante, donate to a cause you hate.

Put your money where your mouth is.

Also, think of what type of motivation you’re using on others. Are you considering the motivation-orientation of your employees, spouse, or kids? It’s worth a try and it might be a life-changing experience for everyone involved.

And remember that motivation is only half of the formula. Take ACTION.

Happy practicing!
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How to Have Infinite Motivation: Part I

12/16/2019

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The first of this 2-part blog post deals with the wrong type of motivation. In the next post I’ll go deeper into the 2 types of motivation and how to use them the right way.

I’m going to begin today’s post with another college experience.

[Disclaimer: I do remember some great things about school, mainly the camaraderie and available educational resources but the negative experiences I had far outweighed the benefits. I chalk it up as being in the wrong school and not the school environment in general. I don’t want to make it seem as though I’m against the school system. Any good system can be broken.]

I specifically remember the first class I took with the chair of the department. This was a class where we would be presenting every week. In general, he had been fairly warm to the students who had presented. So when it came to my turn I was nervous but fairly confident. Outside of class I also felt like we had a pretty decent rapport developing.

My presentation came as a shock; I was caught off guard. He relentlessly peppered me with questions, often viciously pointing out the most minor, trivial details. I had no idea what was going on. I literally began to think he hated my guts. After my presentation was over (I didn’t even get through halfway) I felt crushed.

Destroyed, humiliated.

Later, a fellow student (already years into his degree and more experienced than me) could tell how bothered I was. So I was grateful to him when he took me aside and said it was the teacher’s way of showing he actually thought you had potential. He was basically tough on “good” students and very lenient and kind to “bad” students.

But this revelation didn’t make me feel any better. The only question that kept recurring in my mind was, “who on this green planet would feel motivated this way?” That was the PG-rated question.

There is a HUGE problem with this type of motivation. Not everyone likes it, especially me. More often than not, people hate it. [Actually, that’s not entirely true. On a football field? Probably. A class in front of my academic peers? Heck no.]

Treating another human being like this is utterly ridiculous and detrimental. How do you expect your brightest employees or students to work hard for you when you demean and embarrass them? Not all of us are masochists.

So I wasn’t “pumped” or “excited” to ace my next presentation. I was more tempted to see how fast I could make his head bounce off the wall.

Motivator? He was more like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Later that semester I saw him “motivate” another student the same way. The poor girl took it far worse than I did. In the back of my mind I sarcastically thought, “another student with ‘potential’ eh?”

De-motivation at its finest.

Unfortunately, this was a big factor that went into my decision to quit school. Did I really want to deal with this guy for the next few years? Not to mention he was in charge of the entire department! And if you’re in a similar situation, please don’t let monetary compensation or educational achievement be the end-all. I remember being hired for a group piano class with pretty good pay. Afterwards I quickly realized the coordinator who hired me was the same type of “motivator.” I happily quit after a month.

No amount of money or award is worth feeling that miserable.

You can’t treat people all the same because EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Every student is unique. In my piano studio I can’t teach everyone the same way. It just doesn’t work and it’s the same with motivation.

So how do we motivate the “right” way?

Stay tuned for my next post!
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The Path to Success = Uncertainty??

12/9/2019

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In our personal and professional lives it’s certain that if you want to get somewhere, you need a goal. Not having a measurable outcome can set you up for failure; you need a target to hit, a bull’s-eye. But the downside to this approach is that in order to have long-term success, you need to operate outside of your comfort zone. A lot. And that means dealing with that constant, nagging feeling of uncertainty.​

I believe that if you are committed enough, you will accomplish your goals. But how you get there and what you will do isn’t always clear. The results may completely surprise you and your goals might actually change.

For example, take my blog posts. This may not surprise you, but I usually don’t know what I’m going to write about next. This doesn’t mean I don’t write down ideas. Sometimes I have future topics lined up, sometimes I’ll go for days where I have no idea what to write about and sometimes I’m ping-ponging back and forth between certain topics.

Yet I make sure to sit down at the computer every day. No matter what. Sometimes writing like a madman, sometimes staring at a blank screen like a zombie.

Although it doesn’t feel good, more often than not everything comes about organically.

Most successful people have the following trait in common: an unwavering faith in their abilities that is borderline delusional. They’re overwhelmingly positive and confident.

But they’re also realists; they know it’s not all rainbows and roses. They’re resilient.

It’s easy to be in a productive state of mind. What’s hard is when it’s not working for you and you don’t know why.

Don’t stop.

It’s a shame to see people give up so soon. They don’t realize that sometimes they’re just a tiny step or two away from achieving their goals.

Did you ever hear the parable about the gold miners? To make a long story short, there were these miners who dug for months without a single shiny object to show for their efforts. As soon as they give up, along come other miners who immediately strike gold in the same area. All they had to do was dig another inch.

One inch!

Then again, sometimes you think it’s right around the corner, but surprise! There are a few more miles to go…

So stay the course but don’t be a fool about it. Take equal time for self-evaluation. Try to find out if you’re an inch away or on a treadmill to nowhere.

Here’s one way to deal with uncertainty: just expect that unforeseeable events will happen.

The only thing you can be certain about is that the bad will always follow the good. You just don’t know what kind of bad to expect. There will be slumps. There will be difficulties. There will be personal, family, financial and emotional problems. Pure chaos.

Or maybe just minor annoyances. Little flies to be swatted down.

In any case, just know that “winter is coming.” A full-blown blizzard or light snow. Do yourself a favor and get used to it!

If I’ve been in a “flow” state where everything is clicking for me in piano, writing and teaching, I just know I will fall out of rhythm soon. I don’t look forward to it, yet I’m also anxious at the same time. As cheesy as it sounds, there’s always sunshine after the rain. I know I’ll grow (somewhat) or learn (something). Many of my strongest epiphanies and realizations happened after feeling lost and confused for months at a time.

Spring comes after winter.

So get 100% comfortable with uncertainty, stop trying to predict the future. It’s going to happen for you and you won’t know exactly how you’ll get there or how you’ll do it.

Prepare to expect the unexpected. Don’t let things get you down. Long-term progress is bumpy, riddled with detours, obstacles and flat tires along the way. Be prepared for the long run or you won’t make it.

As counterintuitive as it sounds, get some more uncertainty in your life. When most people zig, make sure you zag.

Happy practicing.
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How to be a Better Teacher

12/2/2019

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I’m going to share with you a BIG secret that helps me to be a better teacher.​

Over the years I’ve read, researched and put into action many, many things that have improved my teaching. But I’ve found there’s one simple thing anyone can do to make an immediate improvement.

Ask.

That’s it. The science of effective teaching at its basic core is this simple action. But you also have to ask the right way.

Let’s look at why.

Where does a kid spend most of their day? Drumroll please… That’s right, school. As much as school can teach kids about working with other individuals, operating respectfully in a system of hierarchy and having basic social skills, I’m not a big fan of a lot that goes on in the classroom environment. To be more specific, I think it’s unhealthy how children get conditioned to do things a certain way.

Here’s the situation: imagine you’re back in school and get asked a question in front of the ENTIRE class by your teacher. Spotlight’s on you buddy. Let’s say most of the time it’s an answer you know, but you feel the added pressure from the eyeballs of your classmates staring directly at you and your mind draws a blank. What would you do? Would you tell the teacher, “I can usually answer this question but with the added social pressure and attention on me at the moment I’m feeling very uncomfortable and unable to answer.” Or will you say… “I don’t know.”

Yeah, that’s what I thought. “I don’t know” is effective because it’s a get-out-of-jail card that works every single time. So the student uses it again, and again, and again until it’s conditioned into a habit. Because think about it, what is the teacher going to do? Accuse them of lying??

By the way, I use a simple fix for the dreaded “I don’t know.” I simply tell all my students that it’s a phrase they aren’t allowed to utter in piano lessons ever. EVER!

But you have to understand that this is not the student’s fault. In their mind they’re trying to respect their fellow students and teachers by not wasting time. Would you be comfortable standing there in complete silence for 3-5 minutes while trying to come up with an answer? In front of everyone?? At that age, that type of silence is deafening and minutes can feel like hours. Plus, most teachers don’t have the patience to wait in the first place.

And this is only half of the dilemma. The other half is that I personally believe many educators are terrible at getting honest, useful feedback from their students, especially in a group environment. If you’ve had the same experiences I did in college, you eventually found out that instruction isn’t necessarily better in a higher education system. The college classroom isn’t exactly the epitome of freedom of expression. Unless, hurray for you, you went to a great school with great professors.

One of the worst scenes (of many) I can remember was when I was still in a music doctoral program. One day, the professor asked for the class’s opinions and a student bravely volunteered (it can be scary to put yourself out there) and expressed her point of view. You could tell how nervous she was by her tone of voice. So what did this professor do? Well, she wasn’t rude about it but she basically told the student that she was flat-out wrong in front of everyone! Personally, I felt terrible for this student and I was horrified at how ignorant an “intelligent” professor could be. Congratulations! You just guaranteed that no one will want to speak up in your class ever again.

Is that the only reason why no one else was eager to speak up? Nope. Turns out 90% of the time none of my classmates had a clue to what this professor was talking about. I know, because I would ask my colleagues after each class was over. I was just as desperate as they were to understand the material.

But wait, the story didn’t end there. This same teacher later complained about a lack of student involvement! Administer self *head slap*.

So how do we not repeat this horrific experience and get honest, truthful feedback from the student?
Well besides doing my best to stay humble and admitting that I don’t always have the right answer, I also try to think of why I’m asking in the first place.

Is it to get honest feedback? Is it to help the student? I have to ask these questions sometimes because I’m far from perfect. In my lowest moments I can have the urge to do something petty to get the point across (we’re all like that sometimes, admit it). Knowing the why almost always snaps me out of it.

I want to know if they truly understand what I’m saying. And what’s important is that you have to create the space where they feel like they will not suffer ANY negative consequences whatsoever for their words. You have to make it 100% safe that they will not be judged, that they can trust you. What’s more important is how you make them FEEL.

You have to realize that some kids aren’t able to communicate effectively yet and you have to be willing to not take ANYTHING personally. Because trust me, sometimes the answers will sting you.

Side Note: Have you ever met adults that rub people the wrong way? Well, don’t hold kids to the same standard. It’s unfair.

Next, dig deeper. Even if you directly ask a student, “did you understand what I said?” they likely will agree even if they don’t really understand. On one occasion I kept pressing my student 3 or 4 times before they finally admitted they didn’t get it! The specific wording I used to snap him out of it was, “did you really understand what I just said or are you just trying to be a good student?”

So… Understand my frustration with school? This is what “being a good student” entails for many kids. This is also the #1 reason why I dropped out of my postgraduate studies (it was a long list).

Now, a great technique to check for comprehension is from the book “Teach Like a Champion.” Ask them to repeat what you just said. But make sure they paraphrase it in their own words. You’re not looking for them to repeat what you said word for word or phrase for phrase. Then make sure to ask them how they would apply what you said in a hypothetical situation. Do it, don’t let them (or yourself) off the hook! This technique really forces the student to dig deeper.

As always, think of other areas you can apply this, such as the work environment and personal relationships. But if people are afraid to give you feedback, that may fall on you. Are you making it comfortable enough for people to be honest with you or do you get defensive and quickly shut down their comments? Do you listen to their feedback only to do nothing to implement it later?

Conversely, if you’re someone who gives feedback are you wording it in such a way that they will actually want to hear you? Do you consider their feelings or are you being harsh in your choice of words? Remember, you have to communicate with people in their language, not yours.

Think of what better teachers, parents, siblings, colleagues, and bosses we could be.

Think of what better people we would be.

So don’t ever be afraid to ask. Because if you don’t ask, you’ll never find out.

Happy practicing.
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Piano Lessons in Cypress, CA
Rhapsody Piano Studio
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Cypress, CA 90630
warrenpiano@gmail.com
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